I have just been in a mood for weeks now and I can't seem to pull myself out of it, it feels as I am being weight down like something has a hold of me and I am not strong enough to pull through. These mixed emotions are killing me I guess I'm just venting to myself. As a mother sometimes I feel as though I fail the same goes for being a wife or friend. I lose me in all these things I strive to be the best at but is that really me? I ask that question all the time where is Stacy because I can't find her I have always been one to say people show face (which means they act) and I have always thought I was not one to do that. Like I was so strong and open I didn't need to show face and I would say most of the time that is true. But when it comes to family it is different why is that? Is it because they know us better or is it because we love them to much to do that? Either way I have all these feelings going around and around and I can't seem to let it go. I know no one can be perfect but man wouldn't that just be easy or would it? See what I mean Questions that's all I have no answer's Do I give alittle here and there and would that be enough? or would I fall short I feel I always fall short and I know who is doing this to me but I wonder if I am strong enough to get rid of him.... I know I should pray more and do all the right things but sometimes when you feel you have failed it's not that easy! I look at my boys and every night when we say thankful's I am so thankful for just them and I walk out and ask myself what could you have done better. I know everyone has there own moments where some of these questions they have asked themselves and I'm not looking for answer's I just need to vent before I blow!
I have a wonderful husband great kids i have alot of things people would love to have but something is missing and i don't know what it is. I feel if I stand up and say what I really feel people wont like it and i feel by doing that i have lied to myself! when do you know what bridge to cross or which one you burn??
oh well just thoughts and don't worry i will be fine just needed to write it...
4 comments:
I'm glad you got the courage to write it. I feel the same way Stacy. I can't fully explain the disappointment I feel right now. Perhaps it is because I need to pray more often, you know those things that bring you through your trials??? Sometimes you feel so worn down that even the good stuff is too much to handle . . . I'm sorry you're feeling the way you are. Email me if you need to talk even more. I'll write you later tonight to let you know more about what's going on here. Love you. Hang in there.
one again, this post reminds me of ME!
We all have weak moments! But, you are one strong lady and I have never known you to be fake and I love you for it! Hang in there.
Amen. I completely get what you're saying. I've gotten really good at faking it. But its annoying.
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